


Battle Scars

by LinaBenliven



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Battle Scars, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Canon Universe, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Weak Lance (Voltron), Episode S3xE06 Tailing The Comet, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Has Battle Scars, Keith (Voltron) Is Brutally Honest, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has Battle Scars, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Minor Keith/Lance (Voltron), Mutual comforting, Oneshot, POV Lance (Voltron), Red Paladin Lance (Voltron), Season 3, Self-Esteem Issues, Seventh Wheel, Slight Canon Divergence, Tailing The Comet, The Math Scene, Training Deck, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11716914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/pseuds/LinaBenliven
Summary: Lance is doubting himself. He doesn't know who to turn to. He knows everyone else will sugarcoat the situation and he really wishes they wouldn't.After all;Six Paladins.Five Lions.Someone has to be left out.





	Battle Scars

“Hey man, I just wanted to talk with you because… Well, because I’ve been worrying about something.” Keith doesn’t seem busy but I can’t help but feel that he doesn’t want me here. Not that the Red paladin made me uncomfortable… He just always seemed aloof; his true personality just always out of reach. Always denying anyone the opportunity to get to know him that little bit better, despite their best efforts.

“Must really be bothering you if you’re coming to talk to me.” I notice the slight joking tone in his voice and I give him a small smile in return. True, Keith never had been my first choice to share stuff like this with. But I had been hoping that sharing some of my concerns with him after our missions without Shiro would open him up some more. He had shared his own concerns with me after all. I didn’t want him to regret that decision.

“Well, I mean you’re the leader now, right?” I say softly and I see Keith falter slightly. His gaze drops to the floor and I almost rethink what I need to tell him. He really wasn’t proud that he had had to take over from Shiro. Not that I think I would have been if I had had to be the Black Lion’s pilot. It would be too painful for me. A memory of what we had lost for me to be in that pilot seat constantly hanging over my head. And that was for someone that barely knew Shiro. Keith had grown up with him from the sounds of their relationship; he had more memories with him than the rest of us. This had been painful for him.

“I guess.” The tone of his voice confirms my doubts. He hated his new title. He probably wanted to go back to the way things were before Shiro had vanished again. He might even want to stop completely, but we needed Keith. He was vital to this mission; he had the capability to lead us. And if not lead us directly, he had the capability to be Shiro’s second in command. I didn’t have any skills like that. I was just a pilot. Which made what I need to say; I needed to tell Keith. He needed the pep talk. He needed to know he was worth it.

“I’ve been doing some math. With Shiro back that makes six paladins, but there are only five lions. And if I’m right; that’s one paladin too many.” It lingers in the air like a bad smell after I’ve said it and I watch Keith’s face for a reaction.

_I don’t get one._

“Solid math.” He finally says after what feels like an age. I wait for him to say something else, anything else, but no more words escape the Red paladin’s mouth. He had to get what I meant by that. It was painfully obvious the problem that I was posing and yet; he didn’t seem to get it. Maybe because the more I had thought about it the more it had become apparent to me that it was _me_ that was going to have to give up my Lion; no one else. Everyone else was more valuable in their Lions, but maybe Keith honestly didn’t see that.

“Look, when Shiro takes over the Black Lion, you’re going to want your Red Lion back. If I get a Lion, that means I’d have to take Blue from Allura. But she’s progressed a lot faster than any of us did, she might even be able to unlock powers we don’t know of.” I explain and I shift my gaze to the floor. It felt weird saying the words I had thought since Shiro had come back out loud, but now we had to deal with them. And I really wasn’t as ready to deal with them as I thought I had been, my heart was pounding as the silence lingered. I knew I was right however, and that’s why I had come to Keith.

Allura deserved to pilot Blue. I was glad Allura had taken over for me. She was a better fighter and a better paladin than I ever was. But some part of me still doubted that; I needed someone to tell me that she was more suited to being the Blue paladin. And Keith is the only one that would tell me that. Everyone else would sugar coat it and tell me that I was being silly. That Blue would never lose her bond with me fully. Keith on the other hand, he would tell me I was being silly yes. But he would also tell me what he thought was the brutal truth. And while that had been a burden and a hassle to deal with at first; it was slowly becoming a trait of his I valued greatly. He didn’t see the point in lying to save your feelings and that’s what I needed right now.

“That’s true.”

“So, maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside.”

“What are you talking about?” He says as he looks me straight in the eyes. He seems annoyed at my words and I honestly didn’t know why. Everything that I found obvious Keith had normally already figured out, so I don’t get why he hadn’t understood this as rapidly as I had.

_Six paladins. Five Lions._

Someone had to be left out.

“This isn’t a participation game; this is war. And you want your best soldiers on the front lines.” I explain myself a little better and I watch him closely. To me, I was the obvious choice to be replaced. Shiro was a great leader. Keith a brilliant second in command. Pidge was our brain and Hunk our realist. Allura was a better fighter and much more suited to this war than a goofball, seventh wheel like myself. I brought no real skill to the table. It would be better for Voltron, and for the universe; if Allura was the Blue Lion’s pilot for the rest of our fight.

“Stop worrying about who flies what and just focus on your missions. Things will work themselves out.” His tone and words both confused me. They don’t seem to match. His words were harsh, almost a command to me. But his tone was soft and reassuring. It didn’t make sense. I had hoped talking to Keith would clear myself of any doubt and instead he had made me doubt myself more.

“Okay, thanks.” I say softly as I walk towards the door. Keith had given me his stance on the matter and even if it hadn’t been what I had expected; he had given me something to think about. I close my eyes slightly, deciding that no matter what I wouldn’t break down in front of Keith. I didn’t want to break down in front of him. I couldn’t do that.

“And Lance?” I stop at the door as he calls my name. It had been the first time he had said it during this exchange and the soft tone of his voice makes me look back towards him. “Leave the math to Pidge.” He adds with such a soft smile and I can’t help but smile back as I walk out of his room. Keith’s smile truly was infectious; it made me sad that he very rarely smiled. He looked better when he smiled. A lot better.

I walk down the corridor in silence, the self-doubt that Keith had unintentionally made worse lingering over my head as I walk straight past my room. I couldn’t go there now. If I had nothing to focus on I _would_ break down. I needed to be strong, we were in the middle of a war, there was no time to be weak. So, I did the only thing that I could think of doing; I head to the training room.

I knew I wasn’t physically weak. My training with the team and the experience in our battles had proved that a lot to me. But, I was mentally weak and I wanted to save myself the pain of going through yet another breakdown for the good of the team. They didn’t deserve someone as weak as myself dragging them down. They deserved strong and confident Keith back in Red and Shiro back in Black where they belonged. They needed someone like Allura in Blue while I hung back in the castle and provided support there. They didn’t need a seventh wheel dragging them down and making the war drag on because I couldn’t get it together.

Sighing to myself I shrug out of my jacket and start up the training sequence that I had used so many times when I wanted to prove to myself I was useful. Somehow though, I got the feeling that it wouldn’t be as helpful this time. I grab the staff and get into a stance as the bots appeared. I didn’t want to use the Bayard. It was a painful reminder that I was in Red and not Blue. It was a reminder that I wasn’t good enough for the team.

I take a deep breath as they charge me before remembering what Keith had told me about fighting and how I should fight them with the staff. And that’s what I do. Keith knew what he was talking about when it came to fighting, and he came here to train on a night. I had found that out the hard way a few weeks back.

He had come in while I was training with the Red Bayard. It had been knocked out my hands and I had gotten pinned down by the bots with no weapon. I had been fully ready to shout for the sequence to end when a black sword had been launched into the bots, knocking them to the floor. I had looked over and blinked when I had seen Keith stood in the doorway of the training deck. He had looked different to how he had looked earlier in the day. He had looked tired and even exhausted as he walked over to help me up.

He had told me that I relied too much on the Bayard and that I needed to focus on knowing how to fight without it. Especially considering my weapon was long range, and not shouted for close combat. I had nodded at his suggestion, the boy had looked too exhausted to argue with, and honestly; he was right. I did rely heavily on the long-range weapon and the safety it gave me. Every time we fought in close combat or got pinned down I had gotten injured. I had received a nice collection of battle scars since arriving at the Castle of Lions, and it had only continued to grow.

I remember asking Keith what he thought I should do to improve, trying to prove to him that he was a good leader and that we liked him as our leader. He had needed a pick me up after the way our first instance with Prince Lotor had gone. He hadn’t looked directly at me as he talked but I didn’t mind. I had immediately agreed to his suggestion of training with him to get used to fighting without my Bayard and I hadn’t looked back.

It was a good thing I had taken Keith up on his offer. If I had to lose my spot on the team to make the Lions stronger and end the war quicker; at least I could still fight alongside them, even without the Bayard. ‘ _I could still be useful’_ I think as I swing the staff so that the head of the bot goes rolling off to the other side of the training deck. I take a deep breath before hearing the announcement for the next round starting in twenty ticks. _I could do this._

~~~*~~~

 _Fuck_. The thought is deafening as I get cornered again. It’s an almost repeat scenario of last time and as one of the bot’s sword manages to cut my arm; I yelp. It stung. It stung a lot. Seconds later I feel a breeze hit my face as a small dagger flies through the air into the bots’ heads, causing them to hit the floor with a solid thump. I slid down the wall I had been pinned up against and let out a shaky breath.

“End training sequence.” I hear Keith say as he walks over to the cupboard. The Altean system powers itself down and I focus my attention on Keith. I had no clue what the black-haired boy was doing, all I was aware of was the cut on my arm. It hurt. It wasn’t deep, at least I didn’t think it was deep, but there was a lot of blood.

“How many times are you going to save my life mullet?” I call out jokingly and I notice that he smiles a little at the affectionate nickname I had given him. I still thought he would look better with a decent haircut, but at the same time; I liked the mullet. It had become an identifying feature of Keith’s, and I couldn’t imagine him without it now.

“As many times as I need to.” He says as he drops to knees next to me and I notice he had grabbed the first-aid kit from the cupboard. I go to take it off him and jump when he smacks my hand. “Let me do it Lance.” He says and I feel a small smile creep onto my face at the way he says my name again. He didn’t say it harshly, or like he was annoyed that I had gotten myself injured. It was said like he was concerned for me, and I was honestly glad that one of us one concerned for me. I had gotten injured so many times during these training sessions that I had stopped bandaging myself up immediately.

“Sure, I mean you’re the leader Keith.” I say and I see that small hesitant smile appear on his face again. I was going to keep reminding him that he was our leader, even if he didn’t like it. We don’t always get what we want but; I was glad that Keith was our leader. He had made some reckless decisions yes. But we all had at some point in our lives, right?

“And you’re my second in command. I need you to stop injuring yourself.” Keith says softly as he rolls my sleeve up so he can inspect the wound site. Yet, the way he tells me to stop injuring myself is indicative that he knows something about me that I hadn’t told anyone, and I really hope that wasn’t the case.

“I’m your what?” I say confused as he gently touches the wound site. I didn’t want to ask what he meant by injuring myself yet, because I knew I did it on purpose. I would dive in front of any of them in order to save them. I was expendable and they would carry on without me. I was fine getting hit; pop me in a heal pod and I was left with a scar but I was largely fine. Battle scars were a part of war, and we all had our own.

“Take your shirt off Lance.” He says as he sees the one on my shoulder and I nod a little reluctantly, but I do so. I go to tell him that he hadn’t answered my question and he puts his finger to my lips, shushing me. “You know what I said Lance.” He says before he starts to clean the long wound on my shoulder.

“Why do you think that?”

“You’ve been ninety percent of my impulse control since Shiro left. You’ve taken the time to explain why my plans wouldn’t work and have corrected me when I was wrong. You are **_my_** second in command.” He says as he starts to stitch my shoulder up slowly. His movements are light and careful but I don’t pay much attention. I’m still trying to cope with the fact he called me his second in command.

“And you really think that?” I say as he starts to bandage my shoulder up. He sighs at my words and moves to my arm to clean that that. “I’ll take that sigh as a yes.” I say with a smile and I notice the black-haired boy smile slightly.

“You really should do.” He says before neatly bandaging my arm. “I just wish you would stop getting into situations that get you injured Lance.” He adds as he sits next to me and trails his finger across the healed scars on my chest. “Look at all these scars Lance. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Well yeah, it hurts when I get the scars. But it stops the rest of you all getting injured.” I say and Keith’s head snaps up.

“That’s not the point Lance. If we all get injured it’s better than having one paladin taking the brunt of it.” He exclaims before looking back down at his hands. “I’d rather you didn’t get injured at all.” He adds in such a quiet voice that I’m amazed the words even came out of the Red paladin’s mouth. He very rarely admitted stuff like that and it felt like a dream. He had admitted that he didn’t want to see me injured. Me, of all people.

“Keith, we’re at war. We’re all going to get injured.” I say softly and I feel him lean his head to rest on my none injured shoulder. We had all been injured at some point already. We had all been in a heal pod. There was nothing wrong with that.

“I know; I just wish none of us would.”

“Me too buddy.” I say softly as Keith’s eyes start to close and I put an arm around him. I didn’t know how long Keith would want to sit there, but I was prepared to sit there with him as long as we both needed the comfort of the other. No matter how long that was.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote up the math scene from S3xE06 for this and turned it into some Langst. The new season hasn't even been out a day and I have already done this. It was a lot of fun.
> 
> Song for this;  
> Battle Scars by Paradise Fears (Check out the album by the same name as well!)


End file.
